Pai's Kitchen Disaster
by kisshuismylife
Summary: What REALLY happened when Pai poisoned them with soup.


**Pai's Kitchen Disaster**

Another ordinary night on the Cyniclon's spaceship. Since Pai couldn't cook to save his life, Kisshu ended up doing all of the cooking. Tonight they were having tomato soup and grilled cheese.

_**However, halfway through dinner: **_"Kisshu? What did you put in this stuff?" Taruto asked.

"I actually took this stuff out of a can; humans come up with some interesting ideas," Kisshu said. "Why?"

"I don't feel good," Taruto said.

Suddenly Kisshu realized his stomach didn't feel good. He and Taruto looked accusingly at Pai, who said, "I just put salt in!"

"What was it really? It wasn't salt, because Taruto and I aren't feeling good," Kisshu said.

Pai went over to the sink where he had found the 'salt', and said, "Uh-oh…"

"What did you do this time?" Kisshu sighed.

"Um… put the sink cleanser in the soup…." Pai said uncomfortably. "I'm not feeling good either…"

"Great…." Kisshu and Taruto moaned together. "I suppose that means you can't heal us?"

Pai had already teleported out, looking pretty green.

Kisshu teleported out as well, leaving Taruto to grab a bucket and go back to his room.

_**With Pai: **__Maybe they're right; I should stop going in the kitchen, _Pai thought as he threw up for the third time. He knew he was getting a fever, too.

_**With Taruto: **_Taruto hadn't even made it to his room with the bucket before he threw up. Now, he was back in his room, with the worst stomachache ever, throwing up into the bucket he had grabbed. _When I get better, Pai is going DOWN, _Taruto thought as he started getting dizzy too. _Maybe Kisshu and I can work out something that'll keep Pai out of the kitchen- like an alarm or something. At the very least, an alarm would let us know to get him out of there._

_**With Kisshu: **__This feels awful, _Kisshu thought as he threw up for about the fifth time. Luckily he had a bathroom attached to his room, but that didn't really help the fact that he _really _didn't feel well. Every time he thought he was done, he started throwing up again. _And I'm tired, _he thought._ Guess I'd better get the bucket and go to bed. _When it felt like he was about to stop for a bit, he got up and went to the cabinet under the sink. The bucket wasn't there. Kisshu swallowed hard, and thought, _Where is it? _He looked around the bathroom, but didn't see it. Suddenly he realized he wasn't able to hold it- and threw up on the floor. Groaning, he got a large sponge out of the cabinet, right before he threw up again. _Cleaning sure isn't going to be easy tonight… _he thought, trying to hold it as he cleaned as quickly as he could. Right as he finished, he felt like his stomach was going to explode, and ran to the toilet again. _I didn't know it was possible to throw up this much at once, _he thought as he realized he couldn't really breathe. He managed to swallow, and took a deep breath, gasping for air. He flushed the toilet and went back to cleaning.

_Where the hell did the bucket go, anyways? _he thought miserably. Then he remembered it was in the hall closet, which was four doors down the hall. He sighed. _Guess I'll be in here all night… _he though wearily, feeling his stomach lurch again. And because he was on the other side of the bathroom cleaning, he had to throw up in the sink instead, which meant MORE cleaning. And it was kind of hard to do that, since his stomach felt like it could explode any minute. He sighed- and immediately regretted it as the sigh caused his stomach to lurch again.

_**Back with Pai: **__I'm never going into that kitchen again, _Pai thought. _Kisshu is lucky; he's got a bathroom attached to his room. And I bet Taruto will be here soon, since he's probably using that bucket in the kitchen. And he ate like three bowls of that stuff. _There was a knock on the door, and Pai flushed the toilet, swallowing hard as he went to let Taruto in.

_**With Taruto: **_Taruto's bucket was completely full and he still felt sick, so he decided to go see if Pai was done yet. When he got to the bathroom, the door was still closed. He knocked, feeling his stomach lurch again.

_**With Pai again: **_Pai opened the door, only to see Taruto looking miserable, because he hadn't been able to hold out till Pai got there. Pai tried to say, "I'll help clean", but ended up throwing up on the floor himself before he finished the sentence. Sighing, he got some sponges as Taruto emptied his bucket and threw up again.

_**Back with Kisshu: **__Pai's doomed when I get better, _Kisshu thought grimly, getting dizzy as he threw up for at least the twentieth time. The sink was clean, but the floor could use some more work. Suddenly it felt like his stomach had settled down, and he thought, _Good, now I can clean the floor, and get some rest. _

No such luck. Two minutes after he started cleaning by the door, his stomach lurched, and before he could so much as turn around, he threw up on the floor again. Irritated, Kisshu flung the sponge down, clenching his teeth in frustration. Getting worked up only served to make things worse, and soon Kisshu was back in front of the toilet, having thrown up on the floor again, and then feeling his stomach basically start doing backflips, until he ran to the toilet and threw up. And that didn't really help much either. _How can anything even be left? _he wondered. _Maybe eating sink cleanser makes you get everything out of your system, no matter what it is. Great. I'll have to clean when I stop throwing up, I guess. That is, if that ever happens… _He sighed, feeling his stomach lurch again. Turning back to the toilet, he threw up again.

Finally, at around 2 AM, Kisshu stopped throwing up, feeling his stomach go back to normal at last. He flushed the toilet, cleaned up the mess on the floor, then went into his room and practically fell onto the bed. He barely managed to pull the blankets over himself before he fell asleep.

When he woke up- around 3 in the afternoon- he had a bad headache. Putting a hand on his forehead, he realized he had a bad fever to go with the headache. And he was really thirsty. Grabbing a glass off the bedside table, he stood up, and ignoring the dizziness, went to the bathroom to get some water.

After gulping down two glasses, he brought a third back to the bedside table and set it down, then climbed back into bed.

By the next morning, Kisshu was really sick. His fever had shot up overnight, and his headache wouldn't go away. And to make matters worse, Pai was sick too, so he couldn't heal him. And since Kisshu couldn't fly, teleport, or walk, he couldn't get the fever medicine they had- which couldn't be taken on an empty stomach anyways. Kisshu spent most of the time sleeping or plotting Pai's demise.

About a week later, Kisshu was too weak to sit up, his voice was gone, and he couldn't stay awake for very long. _If Pai doesn't get better soon, I'm probably going to die here, _Kisshu thought gloomily.

Luckily for him, Pai came in later that day, and put a hand on Kisshu's forehead- then looked shocked. "Why didn't you call me sooner?" he asked Kisshu. "How long have you been like this?"

_Since the day after you decided to poison us, _Kisshu said telepathically. _Lecture me later, I'm not feeling well enough to deal with the usual lengthy lectures._

Pai sighed and put his hand on Kisshu's chest, and started healing him. Kisshu started feeling better a few minutes later, but realized that the weakness in his body wasn't going away. His headache had faded, but he still felt weak.

He felt Pai take his hand away a while later, and heard him ask, "How are you feeling now?"

"A little better, but I still don't think I can sit up," Kisshu said. "So when did you get better?"

"Two days after the poisoning, and it took Taruto four days," Pai said. "You should have called me earlier; it's going to take a while before you're recovered enough to go back to your usual schedule."

"I assumed you were still sick, since normally you'd come in here and check on me after something like that," Kisshu said. "Why didn't you?"

"Taruto blackmailed me into creating an alarm that will ring every time I walk through the kitchen door," Pai said gloomily. "And NO, it won't ring for you or Taruto, it's there only to make sure I don't go in the kitchen."

"What'd Taruto blackmail you with?" Kisshu asked.

"He said he'd tell Lettuce how I feel, since I haven't done so yet," Pai said, still gloomy.

"Oh, so you finally realized you have feelings for Fish-girl?" Kisshu asked, snickering.

"Why you little…" Pai muttered.

"Can you wait till I can defend myself to attack me?" Kisshu asked. "And since it's entirely your fault I'm stuck in bed, I think I deserve some fun."

"Oh, fine…." Pai said, then muttered, "Little green demon…."

Kisshu started laughing, and Pai glared at him, then teleported out.

Another three days passed, and Kisshu was back to full strength. And the alarm in the kitchen went off the day Kisshu got out of bed, so he had to go beat Pai up.

The moral of this little one-shot? NEVER let Pai near your kitchen.

**I'm sure you're all wondering (if you decided to read this far) why the HELL I would write something like this. Well, there is a reason. I mentioned in a few stories that Pai had at one point in time poisoned the three of them with soup. So I made a little one-shot about what really happened. If you don't like it, please don't flame me. If you do- well, you can review!**


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